A current and nuanced perspective on narcissism.
Narcissism is ‘hot’. Not as an ideal for ourselves, but as a trait frequently observed in others: our boss, partner or friend, for example.
We quickly recognise the stereotype. Think of Putin, Erdogan and Trump. They make narcissism comprehensible in a chaotic world.
Narcissists are vain, egocentric and hungry for admiration. They are often also male, right-wing and old. But what if narcissism is not just an individual deviation? What if it is a symptom of our entire culture? A zeitgeist that shapes, seduces and exhausts us?
The term ‘zeitgeist’ refers to the spirit of the times, or the collective consciousness of an era. The current zeitgeist is characterised by what might be termed ‘ego ambivalence’: we are constantly encouraged to be autonomous, unique and visible, yet we only feel unique when we receive constant affirmation of our identity, preferably in the form of likes. What is the result of this ambivalence? Emotional disorientation, spiritual emptiness, and a longing for meaning beyond reason.
As the psychologist Malte Nelles puts it, paraphrasing Nietzsche, God is not dead, but has moved to the ‘I’. Modern humans are now responsible for their own lives and must find meaning within themselves. This is a psychological burden that we are ill-equipped to bear. In this quest, a self emerges that is under constant pressure to excel, inspire, suffer and shine. We are no longer just ourselves — we are our own project.
From the individual to the system: the narcissistic organisation.
We tend to individualise narcissism: ‘My boss is narcissistic,’ we say. But what if that boss is merely the mouthpiece of a narcissistic organisational culture? A culture in which success is more important than meaning, vulnerability is seen as weakness and visibility is the new currency.
The German philosopher Byung-Chul Han describes this shift sharply: we are no longer oppressed by an authoritarian ‘must’ society, but exhausted by a ‘can’ society. We exploit ourselves in the name of freedom, positivity, and performance. People become entrepreneurs of their own existence, constantly working on their ‘personal brand’. What is the price? Burnout, depression, anxiety — and an increase in narcissistic behaviour.
The Größenklein, the hidden narcissist
Psychiatrist Hans-Joachim Maaz adds the hidden narcissist to the familiar stereotype. He calls them the ‘Größenselbst’ and the ‘Größenklein’. The Größenselbst is the inflated ego: self-confident, untouchable and all-knowing. This is the ego of LinkedIn profiles, boardrooms and Instagram.
The sizesmall is the other pole: modest, invisible and docile, but with a deep sense of inferiority and a fear of not being recognised. It is the self-sacrificing helper, the silent sufferer and sometimes the dogged representative of victim culture. It manifests itself in burnout, cynicism, and a slow disappearance of commitment.
According to Maaz, both forms — delusions of grandeur and inferiority — result from a lack of love in early childhood. They both want to be seen for who they truly are.
Healthy and unhealthy narcissism
Narcissism comes in many forms, ranging from serious mental disorders to mild forms that can be useful and even necessary in organisations.
Psychologist and leadership guru Manfred Kets de Vries distinguishes between the two types. Healthy narcissism — characterised by a strong identity, resilience and a sense of reality — is even necessary for leadership. However, when the balance tips towards delusions of grandeur, manipulation, and a lack of empathy, the leader becomes a threat.
In organisations, it can be hard to tell the difference. Grandiose narcissism is often mistaken for charisma, while hidden narcissism and victimhood are mistaken for dedication. Moreover, narcissists thrive in contexts where admiration, performance and visibility are central — precisely the ingredients of our zeitgeist.
Organisations that are blind to this dynamic create what might be termed ‘mirror palaces’: environments in which everyone is constantly preoccupied with their own reflection, but no genuine connections are made. Dissenting opinions are discouraged, criticism is perceived as an attack and meaningful discourse is replaced by slogans.
Narcissism is a survival strategy
Therefore, the increase in narcissistic behaviour is not only a pathology, but also an adaptation mechanism. In an age where performance and visibility are the norm, cultivating a grand self-image can offer protection. This is certainly true in a world where, paradoxically, ‘vulnerability’ and ‘authenticity’ have become new factors for success — provided they are displayed effectively.
The expression of narcissism varies. Male narcissism is more often overt and status-oriented, manifesting as superiority, dominance and competition. In contrast, female narcissism tends to manifest in the relational sphere, through emotional manipulation, self-sacrifice as a means of power and subtle envy. Both forms are present in organisations, but they are often invisible because they are disguised as socially acceptable behaviour.
The dehumanisation of the workplace
The result of this collective dynamic, as Byung-Chul Han puts it, is a ‘hypervisible world without soul or distance’. Everything must be transparent, measurable and accountable. However, what disappears are the things that really connect people: mystery, slowness, silence and uncontrollability.
According to the sociologist Hartmut Rosa, resonance is the antidote to this dehumanisation. Resonance is not harmony or team spirit, but rather a reciprocal relationship between individuals and their surroundings that transforms both. It requires vulnerability and receptivity, and above all, the ability to let go of control. However, resonance cannot be enforced — it is a gift, not a KPI.
From resistance to reorientation
What can we do with these insights? Firstly, we must recognise that narcissism is not an individual problem, but a systemic phenomenon. Rather than asking, ‘How do I deal with a narcissistic colleague?’, we should ask ourselves, ‘What in our culture and structures enables narcissistic behaviour?’
Secondly, we must create space for resonance. This does not mean “listening” more or creating an “open feedback culture”, but rather allowing moments that are beyond control and performance. Silence that is not efficient. A meeting without a goal. A project that is allowed to fail.
Psychology also deserves critical reflection. It often focuses on individual biographies, overlooking the cultural and historical forces that shape the inner self. As Malte Nelles argues, phenomenological depth psychology helps us to see people not only as the offspring of their parents, but also as the offspring of their time and culture.
Finally, there is a revaluation of not knowing. Narcissism is the ultimate attempt to eliminate any distance between the self and the world — everything must confirm one’s own image. True leadership, and perhaps also true humanity, begins with tolerating that sense of not knowing, that open space and that sense of the other.
The hidden ethics of the mirror image
In a culture that constantly tells us to ‘be ourselves’, we are, ironically, mainly concerned with constructing a mirror image that will receive praise. The narcissist in us is not born; he is formed by systems that promise autonomy but demand confirmation.
Therefore, the challenge of our time lies not in combating narcissism as a symptom, but in recognising the structures and beliefs that cause and reward it. This requires courage and imagination, as well as the willingness to put down the mirror occasionally and really look.